Kids

Kids say the darn dest things sometimes....makes me wanna hold up my " here's your sign" sign. So, the other day I promised Presley I would put some pink and purple streaks in her hair. She wanted me to do it too, so we did. My hair is too dark to have it show up much, but her's looked fantastic, and she loved it, which is what counts. Well, that night we were sitting around reading books and Presley was standing behind me looking through my hair trying to find the colors. She says,

" Mom, I don't see any purple or pink."

I say, " Well, it's there You just can't really see it."

Presley says, " no, I don't see any, where is it?"

I say, " well it's there. look hard.. I put some in."

Presley says, " I still don't see the purple mom.... oooh, But I see the white!"

I say...nothing.

The rest of the family laughs.

Lol, it's official, I'm growing old...and my three year old just proved it.

Lost

Well, I have been waiting and waiting hoping I would not have to Post about this...at least not this way. But I have come to terms, finally, that Squeegie is not coming home. Squeegie has been a part of our family for nine years. We bought her when she was just a baby and have raised her ever since. I was hoping that when I had to post about this it would be because she had gotten old and passed away. The old part she was, but she ran away. So much harder to deal with I think. Death is something we have to accept, it will happen to everyone at some point in time, but running away...who does that? I feel awful. W e actually thought we found her once, someone picked up a dog looked just like her. I went to see, but it was not her. Then we scoured the shelter. I sent Brandon in cause the kids wanted to see the other animals, and i was feeding the baby. He came out a bit later and said I had to go in because there was a dog in there and he honestly couldn't tell if it was her or not. I thought aww crap, I'm gonna come unglued in the shelter. So I went in, walked passed all the kennels with sad eyes until the very end where this dog was. It took me a while, I had to do some searching, but in the end I determined it was not her. She had been missing for a month and her hair would have been long and probably dirty, but this dog didn't make the annoying, but cute little squeal our Squeegie always made when she wanted ur attention. And then I had to walk away in tears. People probably thought I was a nut.

I still have a hard time thinking she is dead. We live in the open wide country. We drove up and down the frontage roads, the freeway, the canals..everywhere. I was hoping to find her, even if it was that she got hit, at least that would be closure for me, but we found nothing. Come dark we drove around with a big spotlight calling her name....nothing. Squeegie was a very smart dog. If she heard us calling, she would have come.

She has been gone for 8 weeks now. I'm thinking someone saw her running up the road and thought she didn't belong to anyone out in the country, not exactly a country dog. I'm thinking someone picked her up thinking she was dumped off. I'm thinking someone has her. I have searched the country, the newspaper, and the shelter many times. When do I stop? I keep thinking she is gonna turn up. The most awful thing is Gus, her companion, is distraught. He sulks, pouts, sleeps, won't eat, and still constantly sits by the door..waiting. And when he goes outside, he sits on the lawn and stares out the direction she ran. Poor thing. All the extra treats in the world haven't helped him snap out of it. So, for my emotional sake I'm going to try to convince myself she went for greener pastures to pass from this life....ya know there is a movie like that, the dog goes to a nice quiet, pritty place to die. Perhaps there was just so much commotion going on here. I'd want to die in peace too.

She was a great dog. The most obedient dog I have ever owned. She has been on plenty of journey's with us. over a dozen moves, three more kids added to the family, and lots of love. She earned her spot in the family that's for sure. We miss her. We love her. And we will always have a special place for her.

I have never been called the crafty kind, but I love doing them! I have a lot I have started, and a lot I have yet to finish, but here are a few I've worked on over the last several months. The kids loved helping with this one...and it was a perfect "kid" job too! Conner was pritty intense here. Here is the end result! A great find at a thrift store, some paint, and baskets at Burlington. We did the crib too! Now if only I could paint my white walls...My sister introduced me to a fabulous wood shop in Sandy, Utah. Tons and Tons of way cute stuff! So far I have done a Summer sign, and a Witch sign. It was way fun painting and decorating...and not so much fun sanding. :) I have two more signs too do. Better put my sanding face on.

I have also been doing burp rags. have done a few different styles, but these ones were my favorite! so soft. And this is my homemade valance. The picture is horrible and totally doesn't do it justice, so if u wanna make em, drop by and get a better look! It was fun, and super fast!

I have a few quilts I've started and stopped and I made a tu-tu for my neice, that was fun. I love getting on craft kicks, i feel like I just can't stop! Happy Crafting!

October 29, 2010

Findlay Burke Heslop
7lbs. 9.8 0z
19 inches long

Perfect.

We spent a couple of weeks on vacation this summer. All of my sisters were able to come into town for a week, and it's the first time in several years we have all been able to see each other, apart from two days for my sisters wedding. We took a day and rode up to Bear Lake, which as a child was a yearly tradition for my family. There was hardly any beach this year, but the water and the wave runners worked just the same :)

Here is Grandpa taking Presley and Kylee for a strole in the water.
This is Presley and Kylee, both three...both trouble makers...but cute ones.
Uncle James seems to be the clone for Conner. They look so much a like. Conner just loves hanging out with the big boys.
This is Conner's cousin Hunter.He was so cute. He would only sit on Conner's lap if he got tickled. We went to the Dinasour park, very much different from when I went years ago. Kids all had fun.

Well, there's not much to say. So I'm just going to pretend my last post was not six months ago, and go on blogging like all the other faithful bloggers do. :) It has been an Extremely busy summer. So much has been done, so much happened, and so much to tell. So hopefully now that I have regained my rightful access to my blog I can start posting like crazy to get caught up! First off, we have Taylor and her cute cheerleading adventure. She pulled out my cheer stuff from way back when and all it took was one look at a pom pom and she was hooked. She really enjoyed doing the mini molahiettes, and it was a good experience for her.

The parade was super long, and ended in the dark, but she was a trooper all the way, even when her mother forgot to bring her jacket and also failed to think about putting a long sleeve shirt on her. Taylor was so cute. She just marched and danced and smiled.

And when it was all over, we got in the car, and turned around to ask her questions and she was out cold. Diva and all.

We also had some birthdays! Taylor turned six and six days later Presley turned three. We had a quick party for taylor before we left outta town, parties are sure a lot of work, and poor presley had her big day in the car on the start of our trip. She did get cupcakes eleven hours later upon arriving at Grandma's house, so I think all in all everything worked out.

This photo is just plain self explanatory...kids are just cute.

There is a frog in my house...in my kitchen...and I cannot find it.
Every time I set my purse in its spot on the counter I hear it croak...
Do you think it might be in my purse????
Why would a frog be in any one's purse?
I take that back....a FAMILY of frogs could live in plenty in the bottom of my purse, and never starve I'm sure.

What's Going On

Well, a lot has gone on lately. Just gonna briefly touch up on a few events. First off, who is spreading all the sickness??? I am hear to publicly request that you stop it...I am tired of all the sick people...in my house. With sick people comes a rare opportunity for me to stay home, I am indeed grateful for that. Staying at home is not a luxury I enjoy all the time, even when I'm home I'm working. So needless to say despite the decline in income over the last few weeks, I have enjoyed getting to know my "turf" again. So everyone got the flu...yes everyone, except Dad. Dad never seems to get sick except for headaches. So we had a week full of vomit, tears, coughs, belly aches, fevers, chills, dehydration and zombies. And of course this was spread out over the entire week, Gosh it would just be too easy to have everyone sick at exactly the same time. That would mean we would only have one day at the doctor instead of three and a few days of zombies instead of a week...funny how that works.

So a few things we got done while reminiscing in our sickness. First things first, girls got pedicures.

And manicures...been a long time and the five layers of touch up polish on my toes desperately needed to be removed and re applied.Taylor made it to a birthday party the week before. They did some fabulous face painting. She was way excited.
I have taken the opportunity to cook while at home with zombies. I actually like cooking, it just seems like whenever I get a cool new recipe something comes up and I don't have time to cook it. Or kids always seem to desperately need my attention when dinner making time rolls around. Excuses I know, but anyhow I have made a goal to try cooking with something new every week...or so. There are so many products out there that I have no idea what to do with or how to cook with, so I have decided to expand my cooking horizon.

This week I cooked a delicious recipe. It called for a Serrano hot pepper.

I have never used one of these, in fact I have never heard of it. It was easy to find in the produce department. It looks like a mini jalapeno. It was delicious. This recipe also called for hoisin sauce. I have seen this around, but always strayed from using it because I was unsure of the taste. I used it and it was great. The recipe I used was an Indian and Asian dish. It was good, didn't take too long to prepare and I think I'll cook it again!

Now off to the doctor, again. Presley has pneumonia and a wicked ear infection. Oh my goodness, where is the sunshine??

January

January...The one month out of the year I simply dread. All the festivities are over and there is just plain nothing to do till summer...of which I long for. Oh I am definitely a heat person, and this rotten wet, muddy, cold, but no snow weather is really ruining a good start to my new year. Speaking of new year It has happened again...a new year. I know it's coming every time December rolls around, but there's just something about January and a new year that buggs... Oh yeah, it's the whole resolution thing. Now don't get me wrong I think making resolutions is a great idea. It gets people motivated, pumped about a goal, and for some reason everyone seems to be happy about it. But honestly, who actually keeps their resolutions??? O.k. probably most of you are good that way, but I can't think of one time I have actually kept a resolution all year and looked back on it at the end of the year and patted myself on the back. When December rolls around I always remember those nice resolutions but I tend to kick myself in the butt for not accomplishing them...instead of the old pat on the back. Last year I came up with the solution to my resolution problem. I simply would not make a resolution and then I would not have anything to be disappointed about. But in the end friends, I was just as disappointed that I had not accomplished much...or at least I didn't have that " I did something productive " feeling.

So this year I have waited till the end of January...because that's suppose to be the resolution month right? And I have come up with a solution. I am not going to write a resolution telling myself I will lose weight..cause I'm tired of that one. I'm not going to save extra money, cause something always comes up and seems to steal that nice stash away. I 'm not going to say I'm going to ditch sugar and make my diabetes better, cause I love sugar and frankly why get all bent outta shape over something I know I'll never give up? no sense in that. I'm not going to say I'm going on a nice trip...cause I never do. I'm not going to promise I'll have an excellent attitude all year...cause who does? Basically I'm not going to set myself up for failure. And I know I would fail at all of those things. So hears what I'm going to do.

My new years resolution is....To TRY.

Yes friends....I promise this year to try. I'm going to try to be healthy. With that comes better decisions of what I eat, How I exercise and how much I educate myself on my issues. I'm going to TRY to have a better budget this year. I'm going to educate myself on finances and how to get the most out of your money. i am going to TRY to make better decisions on what, when, and where my money goes. I'm going to TRY to eat less sugar and TRY to remember my pills three times a day to regulate my blood sugar levels...which in turn will help me feel better physically, and mentally. I'm going to TRY to go for a get away. Not a fancy trip, because that's too unrealistic for me. Just maybe a weekend getaway. I'm going to TRY to have a better attitude. I'm going to TRY to be a better person. I was looking through some quotes and pictures of days gone by and found one that I received a long time ago. Over the years I have forgotten about the message of this poem and I felt it was such a good time to have stumbled upon it.

" When you get what you want in your struggle for gain,
and the world makes you Queen for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
and see what that gal has to say.
It isn't your father or mother or friend,
whose judgement upon you must pass.
The one whose verdict counts most in your life
is the one staring back in the glass.
She's the one you must satisfy beyond all the rest,
for she's with you right up to the end;
And you have passed your most difficult test
if the one in the glass is your friend!
You may be one who got a good break--
then say I'm a wonderful gal;
but the one in the glass says you're only a fake;
if you can't call that person your pal.
You may fool the world down your pathway of years,
and get pats on the back as you pass;
but your final reward will be heartaches and tears
if you've cheated the girl in the glass."

I love this. It makes me want to be a better person. So among all the other things I'm going to try this new year, I'm going to try to make the girl in the glass my friend! I'm going to TRY to be a better wife, a better mother, a better sister, a better daughter, a better friend. I'm going to TRY to love the girl in the glass.

So I'm sure some people have real nifty, productive resolutions this year, but the only promise I'm going to make is that I TRY. This leaves lots of room for error, of which is bound to occur, but if I at least TRY to do these things I know I will become a better me. And when I look at that gal in the glass I can smile.

A WOMAN AND HER GOAT...

SO...I HAVE A GOAT. LIKE MOST OF THE ANIMALS I INHERIT...IT HAS A STORY. SO, THIS IS THE STORY OF MY GOAT.

I HEADED INTO BASIN FEED TO PURCHASE SOME RABBIT FEED FOR CONNER'S BUNNIES...YES BUNNIES..HE HAS TWO. THEY ALWAYS HAVE SOME SORT OF ANIMAL IN THERE FOR KIDS TO LOOK AT...IN HOPES THAT SOME PARENT WILL GET SUCKED INTO THE DRAMA AND PURCHASE THAT ANIMAL FOR THEIR CHILD SQ WILLING WITH DELIGHT. THAT DAY THEY HAD A BIN WITH PUPPIES, UGLY ONES, AND A BIN WITH TWO GOATS, PIGMY GOATS. NOW I HAVE SEEN THESE GOATS BEFORE AND THEY ARE SORTA CUTE...FOR A GOAT. ANYWAY, THE GIRLS WERE WITH ME...WHICH WAS PROBABLY MY FIRST MISTAKE. THEY WERE COOING OVER THE GOATS. A NICE MAN STANDING IN LINE BEHIND ME WAS HOLDING THE GOATS STILL SO THE GIRLS COULD PET THEM. I PROCEEDED TO PAY FOR MY SMALL BAG OF FEED AND CHATTED WITH THE TELLER WHILE WE WATCHED THE GIRLS PLAY. TAYLOR, TURNED TO ME AND SAID," MOM...CAN WE GET THIS GOAT? PLEAAAAASE." I SAID, WELL IT IS KINDA CUTE...BUT NO. JUST LIKE CHILDREN THAT DON'T SEEM TO EVER HEAR YOU THE FIRST TIME...SHE ASKED AGAIN.. AND LIKE ANY MOTHER I TURNED TO HER AND SAID," HONEY THOSE GOATS ARE 100.00 DOLLARS AND IF I HAD A SPARE HUNDRED I'D BUY IT...BUT I DON'T SO..NO. " I THEN PAYED FOR MY FEED AND STARTED TO HELP THE GIRLS GET THEIR COATS ON. THE NICE MAN BEHIND ME PAYED FOR HIS STUFF, TALKED TO THE TELLER A BIT, THEN LEFT. JUST AS I WAS PRYING MY GIRLS FROM THE GOAT BIN THE LADY CAME OVER WITH A BOX AND LIFTED A GOAT INTO THE BOX. I SAID," OH THAT MAN MUST HAVE BOUGHT THIS GOAT." THE LADY THEN LAUGHED AND SAID," NO MAM...THAT GUY BOUGHT THIS GOAT FOR YOU!" SHE THEN HANDED ME THE BOX...WITH A GOAT INSIDE...STARING AT ME...YES WITH THOSE EYES...I KINDA LAUGHED AND SAID." OH WELL, THAT WAS SURE NICE BUT I CAN'T AFFORD TO FEED IT." THINKING THAT WAS MY OUT. SHE THEN PROCEEDED TO TELL ME I DIDN'T HAVE TO FOR SOME TIME BECAUSE THAT NICE MAN....OH THAT NICE MAN...HE ALSO BOUGHT ME A 50 LB. BAG OF GOAT FEED. I JUST STARED AT HER. BY NOW THE REALIZATION THAT THIS GOAT WAS A GIFT HIT MY GIRLS AND THEY WERE SO EXCITED...I MEAN WHO GETS TO TAKE A GOAT HOME...IN A BOX...EVERYDAY. NOT MANY FOR SURE :)

SO TO MAKE A LONGER STORY SHORT... THEY LOADED FEED AND A BOX..WITH A GOAT IN IT..INTO MY CAR AND SAID THE MAN SAID TO HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS. YES MERRY IT HAS BEEN. I STARED AT THIS GOAT ALL THE WAY BACK HOME...IT SAT NEXT TO ME IN THE CAR. I HAD TO LOCK IT IN MY BATHROOM TILL BRANDON GOT HOME TO BUILD IT A PEN. I'M NOT SURE HE WAS TOO EXCITED WHEN I CALLED HIM AND TOLD HIM I HAD A GOAT IN THE BATHROOM THAT NEEDED A PEN. BUT REGARDLESS..A PEN WAS BUILT. AND THE GOAT ONLY ESCAPED THE BATHROOM TWICE WHILE IN IT. TOOK ME 30 MINUTES TO CATCH IT...MAN THOSE THINGS ARE FAST! AND THEY JUMP!

SO NOW OUR GOAT HAS A NAME...BELLA.
SHE LIVES IN A MAKESHIFT IGLOO NEXT TO THE RABBITS BEHIND THE HOUSE. MY LANDLORD DOES NOT KNOW...HEAVEN HELP ME WHEN HE DOES KNOW. SHHH! :) FUNNY THING IS LATELY BELLA HAS ESCAPED HER PEN. AND EVEN FUNNIER WHEN SHE DOES SHE SITS ON THE BACK PORCH AND WAILS LIKE A BABY. THEN WHEN I GO OUT SHE RUNS BACK BEHIND THEN HOUSE AND INTO HER PEN. WHENEVER I HEAR HER WAILING I JUST LOOK OUT THE DINING ROOM WINDOW AND SURE ENOUGH SHE'S SITTING ON THE PORCH CRYING FOR ME. ONE NIGHT SHE MADE ABOUT SIX LAPS AROUND MY HOUSE..WITH DOGS BEHIND HER...BEFORE WE CAUGHT HER. WE TIED HER TO A TREE THE OTHER DAY SO THE KIDS COULD PLAY WITH HER. SHE BALLS LIKE A NEWBORN UNTIL YOU PICK HER UP AND THEN SHE STOPS AND JUST STARES AT YOU WITH THESE BIG GLASSY BEADED EYES THAT ARE MOST LIKELY SAYING, THANK YOU FOR RESCUING ME FROM THAT PEN AT THE FEED STORE...I'M SURE IT'S SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

SO...MY LOVE OF LIVING IN THE COUNTRY IN AN OLD HOUSE IS DEFINITELY TESTING ME LATELY. I HAVE DEFINITELY LEARNED A FEW LESSONS THIS TIME AROUND.

#1 DON'T TAKE YOUR KIDS TO THE FEED STORE..ESPECIALLY WHERE NICE MEN MIGHT BE WAITING TO BUY YOU SOMETHING!

#2 DON'T EVER EVER EVER TELL YOUR KIDS YOU'D BUY IT IF YOU HAD THE MONEY...CAUSE ONCE AGAIN YOU NEVER KNOW HOW MANY NICE PEOPLE ARE JUST WAITING TO SPEND THEIR MONEY ON YOUR KIDS!

#3 WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE COUNTRY EXPECT TO HAVE PEOPLE DUMP THEIR UNWANTED ANIMALS ON YOUR PORCH AND EXPECT TO HAVE LOTS OF ANIMALS CAUSE IF YOU LIVE IN THE COUNTRY YOU MUST LIVE ON A FARM! ???

#4 DO NOT LET THE BIG BEADED GLASSY EYES PULL YOU IN! YOU THINK YOU CAN RESIST..BUT I'D LIKE TO SEE WHAT YALL WOULD HAVE DONE :)

#5 EXPECT THAT EVERY ANIMAL YOU BRING HOME..OR TAKE IN AFTER SOMEONE DUMPS IT...EVEN IF IT STAYS OUTSIDE...THEY IMMEDIATELY ASSUME YOU ARE THEIR MOTHER. AND THEY WILL CRY FRIENDS...THEY WILL CRY FOR YOU AND YOU WILL PICK THEM UP...EVERY ONE OF THEM...BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT MOTHERS DO.

AND EVERYONE NEEDS A MOTHER. EVEN IF IT'S NOT THEIR OWN.

KIDS...ALLL OF THEM.

I failed to mention that my last post was my 100Th post....quite an accomplishment for me, and what a perfect post to have it on. I'd like to do a list of 100 things, but I'm sure no one wants to read 100 things about me or of me or whatever, so we will just skip that and get on with posting life and it's funny little quirks.

So some of you know I'm not so much a morning person. I lOVE staying up late and DESPISE the whole waking up thing. I have never slept in past 8 in fact, but Rolling outta bed in the morning definitely has literal meaning to me. Brandon's alarm goes of at 630 mine at seven, but I'm awake when his goes off, how does anyone honestly sleep through another persons alarm? not me. anyway i roll out at seven to get kids up, ready and on the bus.

I started the kids off with breakfast then let the dogs outside, then the cat in. Poor thing, it is 7 degrees and a wind of no less than 20 mph for sure! So cold to say the least. So Oscar, the cat, comes in in the morning to get warm for a bit then we kick him back out. I do feel bad for him having to be out in that cold, and he is the most well behaved animal I have ever owned, but yet he's the one that gets kicked out. Funny how that works in other aspects of our lives. Anyway, i sat Presley up in her chair and gave her a bowl of cereal, then went to wash my face. when i came back i noticed something in the chair at the end of the table. this is what I saw.


I thought...seriously. no way. So I got closer. Yes friends this is again what I saw.


So as I chuckled I simply asked Oscar what he needed. Without saying a word he gave me those eyes...ya know like the ones that cat on SHrek gives...the big sad glassy looking ones. Yep I got those. He simply gave me the eyes then looked directly at Presley's cereal bowl.


That is exactly when my heart melted. The poor thing was cold....obviously hungry...and thought if he sat up to the table like Presley nicely in a chair that he too would be given a bowl of milk.....which I have not given him in years!!!! How smart? I mean really.


So I warmed up a bowl of milk, meanwhile he just sat there and waited, then i put it in front of him and he quietly ate. He didn't even drip! Then If that wasn't enough, when he was done he simply turned around and got down. no whining, nothing, he just got on with his day. miraculous.

Ya know, those people who know the story of my cat, and if you don't it's in my early posts, know he is one of a kind. I know he came from a rough area, and he is just so thankful to have the things he has now, and he's proving it. He is soooo good to me. I don't do whining cats always rubbing on your legs and jumping on your counters and just being annoying. I have kids and two dogs for that, he's just a quiet, reserved cat and I love him! Never bothers anyone. And if I would have yelled at him to get off my chair he would have just jumped down and got on with his day. I often wonder why my dogs can't take heed of his shinning example. instead they do all the opposite; wine, beg, bark, slobber,climb on furniture, steal peoples food. I mean don't get me wrong they are small dogs and they aren't THAT bad, but I just wish they were more like my cat.

Oscar is definitely one of a kind. He won't join us every morning for breakfast, but I gotta admit if everyone just sat up and waited patiently, QUIETLY, without a whine or a bark or fighting over what bowl you get....If everyone acted like my cat....I would definitely be more pleasant around mealtimes...and everyone would get milk. :)

GRADUATION !!!

MY BABY HAS GRADUATED! MAN I FEEL SO MANY EMOTIONS AT ONCE AT A TIME LIKE THIS. I HAVE THIS EXCITEMENT AND JOY THAT I JUST WANT TO SHOOT THROUGH THE ROOF, A HAPPINESS ONLY A TRULY PROUD PARENT COULD HAVE, AND AT THE SAME TIME AN OVERWHELMING UNCERTAINTY TO HOLD ON TO SOMETHING I HAVE HAD AS A PART OF MY LIFE FOR THE LAST 8 ALMOST 9 YEARS.

THIS TREK IN MY LIFE HAS BEEN A LONG, ROUGH ROAD, WITH SO MANY OBSTACLES I CAN'T EVEN COUNT. IT HAS BEEN A JOURNEY I WILL NEVER FORGET, AND A GRADUATION WELL WORTH THE FIGHT.

AS OF NOVEMBER 17, 2009 CONNER HAS BEEN DISCHARGED FROM PHYSICAL THERAPY, OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY, FEEDING THERAPY, AND SPEECH THERAPY. AT ONE POINT IN MY LIFE I THOUGHT WE WOULD NEVER GET HERE, I TOLD MYSELF A LONG TIME AGO IT DIDN'T MATTER IF WE EVER GOT DISCHARGED, I LOVE MY BUBBLES NO MATTER WHAT, BUT TO SEE THE GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT I HAVE SEEN OVER THE LAST 8 PLUS YEARS AND TO BE DISCHARGED AGAINST ALL ODDS AND ALL PROGNOSIS; THE FEELING IS TRULY PRICELESS.
FOR THE FIRST THREE YEARS OF CONNER'S LIFE HE COMMUNICATED ONLY BY SIGN LANGUAGE. IT WASN'T EASY TO LEARN OR TO TEACH, BUT HAVING A TRACHEOTOMY PROVIDED NO OPPORTUNITY FOR SPEECH, SO TO COMMUNICATE WITH OUR LITTLE ONE, IT WAS MUCH NEEDED. CONNER'S FAVORITE SIGN WAS I LOVE YOU. AFTER COMING OFF A VENTILATOR AND MOVING TO ONLY OXYGEN THROUGH HIS TRACH, WE WERE ABLE TO PLACE A SPEAKING VALVE ON HIS TRACH AND TEACH HIM TO USE HIS VOICE. I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME THEY PUT THAT VALVE ON. HE WAS CRYING BECAUSE HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS HAPPENING, I DON'T BLAME HIM, BUT THE FIRST THING I HEARD WAS THE SOUND OF HIM CRYING. AND THEN OF COURSE I WAS CRYING :) FOR A LONG TIME WE KNEW HE WAS CRYING BY LOOKING AT HIM, BUT WE WERE UNABLE TO HEAR HIM. AND NOW AFTER 8 YEARS OF SPEECH THERAPY, WE HEAR HIM.



CONNER HAS WORKED SOOO HARD FOR SO LONG TO ACHIEVE THE STABILITY HE HAS NOW. WE USE TO HAVE TO GET HIM UP AT SIX THIRTY IN THE MORNING FOR AN HOUR LONG OF PHYSICAL THERAPY, AND WE DID THIS THREE TO FOUR DAYS A WEEK FOR TWO YEARS. THEN WE WENT TO TWICE A WEEK FOR TWO MORE. AND FOR THE LAST FOUR WE HAVE GONE ONCE A WEEK. WE HAVE ALSO TRAVELED TO MILWAUKEE WISCONSIN FOR AN INTENSIVE FEEDING TEAM THAT HELPED US LEARN THE TOOLS TO TEACH CONNER HOW TO EAT. CONNER HAS BEEN TUBE FED FOR SEVEN YEARS, AND JUST LAST YEAR HE HAD HIS FEEDING TUBE REMOVED. WHAT A CHANCE AT A SKILL SO MANY OF US TAKE FOR GRANTED EVERY DAY...EATING. AFTER BEING TURNED DOWN BY SEVERAL INTENSIVE FEEDING TEAMS AROUND THE GLOBE BECAUSE OF HIS EXTENSIVE MEDICAL HISTORY, WE WERE FINALLY ACCEPTED TO THE CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL IN MILWAUKEE. WE WERE ACCEPTED WITH THE UNDERSTANDING THAT THERE WERE NO PROMISES, AND THEY WOULD ONLY DO AS MUCH AS HE COULD PHYSICALLY HANDLE, WHICH WAS NOT MUCH. WE DROVE TO MILWAUKEE EVERY OTHER MONTH AND STAYED AT THE RONALD MCDONALD HOUSE FOR A WEEK. WE DID THAT FOR TWO YEARS. AFTER ALL THEY COULD DO AND ALL THE TEACHING WE COULD LEARN WE WERE AGAIN TURNED OUT ON OUR OWN. NOW 8 YEARS AND 7 MONTHS LATER, MY BUBBLES CAN EAT WITHOUT THE AID OF A TUBE.SO MANY THINGS...SO MANY LITTLE THINGS THAT HE HAD TO LEARN. THINGS YOU AND I CAN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHY IT WOULD BE SO HARD. EATING, WALKING, SITTING, CRAWLING, TEXTURE, SOUND, SMELL, CROWDS, BREATHING....THINGS THAT OUR BODIES DO NATURALLY. THINGS THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE HAVING TO LEARN ALL OVER AGAIN. SO MANY THINGS A LITTLE GUY HAD TO DO ALL OVER, AND WORK SOOOOOO HARD FOR. THINGS THAT HAVE TAKEN 8 YEARS TO LEARN. I SIT AND THINK OFTEN ABOUT HOW A PARENT FEELS WHEN THEIR CHILD TAKES THE FIRST STEP, OR BITE OF SOLID FOOD, OR CRAWLS, OR ROLLS OVER, OR PERHAPS THE SIGHT OF ANOTHER BREATHE AFTER A SERIOUS ILLNESS, OR CHOKING. BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE THE SIGHT AND THE FEELING OF SEEING THOSE THINGS WHEN EVERY MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL TELLS YOU HE CAN'T, OR WON'T? THE FEELING IS THE SAME....PRICELESS, BUT AT SUCH A HIGHER LEVEL OF INTENSITY I CANNOT EXPLAIN.

MY CONNER HAS DONE A LOT OF THINGS IN HIS 8 YEARS HERE ON EARTH THAT MOST PEOPLE WILL GO A LIFETIME WITHOUT EXPERIENCING. HE HAS BEEN A TROOPER THE WHOLE WAY THROUGH. JUST ONE OF THOSE BABIES WHO DESPITE THEIR PAIN AND OBSTACLES, CONTINUED TO SMILE.

AFTER JUST THE FIRST YEAR OF HIS LIFE I WAS CERTAIN HE WOULD REFRAIN FROM BONDING WITH ME IF I HELD HIM DOWN FOR YET ONE MORE IV LINE OR ONE MORE SHOT, BUT CONNER HAS LOVED EVERYONE EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. I AM SO DEEPLY PROUD OF THE EXAMPLE, THE PATIENCE, THE SINCERITY, THE HUMBLENESS, THE STRENGTH, AND THE LOVE CONNER HAS. I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE ENDURE SO MUCH AND BE SO HAPPY. HE HAS A LOT A HEAD OF HIM, BUT I KNOW HE IS STRONG....LOOK AT HOW MUCH HE HAS ACCOMPLISHED. A LOT OF PEOPLE ASK HOW WE EVER DID IT, OR CONTINUE TO DO IT, BUT MY ANSWER IS JUST THE SAME TODAY AS IT WILL BE TOMORROW; WE JUST DO IT. IT IS A LIFESTYLE THAT HAS BEEN A ROLLER COASTER, AND WILL CONTINUE TO BE SO, BUT I WOULDN'T TRADE MY BUBBLES FOR A SINGLE MINUTE FOR ANYTHING ANYONE CAN PROVE TO BE BETTER. NOTHING IS BETTER FOR ME.

CONGRATULATIONS CONNER...YOU HAVE ACHIEVED SO MUCH, WITH EVERYTHING AGAINST YOU, YOU HAVE ONCE AGAIN DEFIED ALL ODDS. I AM SO TRULY GRATEFUL TO BE YOUR MOM. YOU ARE LOVED SO MUCH AND ALWAYS WILL BE. YOU ARE MY STRENGTH, MY SUNSHINE, MY BUBBLES...MY CONNER. AND I LOVE YOU.

LOVE, MOM