STAND

Lately I have been thinking a lot, about alot of things, and recently I spoke to a friend about troubles, life, giggles, hard times good times, and how we seem to get through everyday life, no matter what comes our way. Some times we deal with life in reasons we are not sure of and sometimes we are sure we are doing everything right. This blog thing is great for journaling, and i want to look back on this some day and read not only milestones of my kids and life, but how I get from one spot to another, sometimes it's quick, and sometimes it's slow. Being a parent is fun, joyous, hard and sorrowful at times. I never thought I would have to grieve about my children the way i do. I guess before you begin you don't truly realize how much you will truly love and bond and protect your children. of course I new those things would happen, but to what extent, i have underestimated. I truly feel like a lioness on the discovery channel protecting her cubs at all cost. Not just with my kids and trials at home, but friends, family, aquaintences, myself, it all feels like a constant circle of protection. I feel for those without family and friends. we all need them and it can deteriorate ourselves to not have them. I know at times life has been hard for me, trials have been tough, still are. People come and go. some are meant to stay and some are meant to help us and move on. I think one of my new years resolutions, yes i know it's almost february, but I have decided to help recognize all the people who come into my life, even just for a short time. I have people, complete strangers, come into my life and not quite understand why, only for years later to feel the effects of that situation.

Some of you that know me well, hopefully some of you do, know i really love music, lyrics in particular. I relate life to music. New song came to my life lately and i just love it. Sorry for all you country haters, but it's Rascal Flatts; STAND. After talking to my friend, this song really hit home for me.

'Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend till you break
'Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you Stand

Life's like a novel with the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon with only one way down
Take what you're given, before it's gone
And start holdin on, keep holdin on

Everytime you get up

And get back in the race

One more small piece of you

Starts to fall into place

Then you stand

I like this song because it helps me to know that it doesn't matter how many times we are down, sometimes we fall, sometimes we're kicked, whatever, but we always have the option to stand. These are only a few of the reasons I stand. But some of the most important ones as well.

For perhaps my children, grandchildren, or who ever else is interested in my life when I'm old and retired from it and it's time to go home, I want them to know why I stood, why I stand. These are the reasons I Stand.

ALL GROWN UP

My baby has grown up, as so many of us mothers say. Presley was tired of her little chair we had her in ( the ones you hook to the table) and her little legs were definitely getting to big, so we started putting her up in a big chair. she loves it.
From the time Presley was eating solids, unless she gets to feed herself, she doesn't eat. Still that way. She definitely makes a mess, but what 18 month old doesn't right? Oatmeal is her thing right now, and just my favorite thing to clean up. I can't stand that maple syrup smell that just seems to linger around everytime we have pancakes, and the maple oatmeal is just the same.
Most of the time she gets a bath immediately following breakfast because the amount that ends up on her clothes, hair, and pj's opposed to her belly is phenomenal. But hey, she can't help that she has big hair, so that one is to be expected. Sometimes I wonder if she actually got full, but she seems to thrive al right, so I guess we're good.

It is so fun that they make little spoons for little people so they can do it all by themselves. I wish someone would invent an easier way to clean up the sticky gooey messes, but I guess soap, water, and a rag is all that has evolved. I bought one of those bibs that catch all the food they drip in the bottom of the bib, but cleaning that pool out was worse for me than just pulling off the jammies and dunking her into the tub. mostly because they don't have a special bib for little girls with big hair. It was funny though because when she was done eating we would get her down and her little legs would be so asleep from sitting on them that she couldn't put them down to walk, poor thing. So as soon as it was official she was going to be a big kid chair eater, we purchased another chair, and a booster. She still has to feed herself, she still likes oatmeal, the maple kind, she still wears most of it, and she still requires a bath. So basically from this growth period we have only emptied our wallet for a new chair for the table and emptied again for the booster, and still have to clean up the same mess, but for Presley and her Independence,

Priceless.

THE BOX

So Christmas time has come and gone, and all the new arrivals sit in their correct spots collecting dust, because why? Well, because of the box.

It all started with a small set of crayons. Three crayons for each little box color er.Conner was definitely the instigator of this art project. He is my artist, my little Mr. detail. He is very good at what he does too, if any of you have seen a drawing of an airplane or tractor by the artist, you would agree. I hope he is the next Vincent Van Gogh.Taylor soon jumped in on the fun, and she is my ms. colorful, making sure all the crayons are used and the colors are uniquely spread throughout. Maybe she'll be into fashion?Presley, my little ms. destruct-o lately, tried to color, but she was more interested in destroying the box. They finally convinced her to play inside the box and that is where she remained, for a very long time. Her fate is yet to be decided. Maybe she'll help people stay put with things, finances, counseling, who knows. Help people realize where they are at in life is just o.k. ? We'll see.After the box was covered in unique scenery, a flashlight was retrieved and the fun began inside the box, imagine that. I'm glad we had a big box to fit everyone in, taking turns would have been out of the question.So here are my little one's box. Yep a box. Equipped with air holes so they could breathe while inside the box, of course a definite necessity. Let me clarify; this is NOT a new Christmas present, or something i payed for, it's a box. Our new found friend was created about a week ago, and per request of the tantrums that were thrown when I moved the box, here it resides, in my living room, a week later going on strong, a box.

I think next year I will purchase three brand new boxes, wrap them each with a set of crayons, and stuff them under the tree.

CHRISTMAS

Christmas is just one of those holidays i can't decide if i truly enjoy. I love to see family, make good food, and watch those very exciting creations that the kids bring home from school, but as soon as the Christmas season is here, i can't help but think how many people do not get to have Christmas. I am one of those that think there are too many gifts, too many parties, too much laughter. I am one of those that think there is too much sorrow for some, too much hype, too little giving, and too little recognition of what Christmas is all about. I tried hard this year to really concentrate on the true meaning of Christmas. A family tradition of my families, that I have extended to Brandon and I and our kids is the gift of giving. Every year we try to help others have a better Christmas season, it isn't much, but we try. One year we gave clothing to some kids in much need, with a holiday meal. another year we did the twelve days of Christmas to a family in need. Last year we bought warm articles of clothing and tried to give them to our "homeless" man. many of you know who he is. He refused my gifts, which made me sad, but i felt good for trying. So then I bought him a meal at MC Donald's without him knowing and had the worker deliver it to him as i left. He smiled, and sat and ate it. best gift i have witnessed in a long time. a smile from someone in need. Most of the time we give things discreetly, but this was a bitter sweet moment for me, to see the gratitude from a receiver. Last year the kids and I also took names off of the moses lake clinic tree and bought gifts for some kids. My kids had so much fun going to the store and choosing things and then dropping them off, just as Santa would do. They had a blast. This year we also helped a family in need. These are the things I thrive on during this season, but i just can't help but think it's not enough. I love the look of snow, from the inside of my house, I love hot chocolate, I love dressing up for parties, I love Christmas food, I love lights, trees and, mangers. I just tend to have a dampened spirit about the need in this world that so many forget, or feel they can't make a difference. I guess I love the true meaning of Christmas, but am saddened by the way we celebrate it. It's just a catch 22 with me.

Anyway, We decided to spend Christmas with family in Utah this year. Wow, what a drive. It was a blizzard! We left at 6:30 Sunday morning, and did not arrive until 1:00 a.m. the next morning! It was horrible. We had to go about 45 mph basically the whole way. I think we got above 55 for about half hour at one point, but that's all. We kept having to pull over and try to unfreeze the wiper fluid, cause the pump would freeze and we couldn't get fluid out to wipe our windshield. There were sooooo many people off the side of the road, and several rollovers. To say the least, it was traumatic, especially for the kids. But we all did arrive safe and sound, just not very pleasant until we slept a few hours.

Here are the kids with Grandma Beyeler, Grandma LU for short.

Me and My Grandma, I just love her, she is so full of life. She just goes and goes. I lost my Grandfather several years ago, and I still remember so much about him and how much I miss him. This year I truly reflected on eternal families.

We enjoyed seeing all our relatives. I saw cousins I have not seen in 8 years. and I enjoyed seeing my grandparents. Each time I see them is precious, life is so short.

Here is my grandma Betty and grandpa Kent. I love them so much too. It is always a blessing to get together with my grandparents, from both sides, I have been lucky to have grown up with them.

We also took the kiddos down to temple square one night. we had been out to eat and weren't sure if the kids would last because we took them to a mini carnival all day, but we drug them through and they were amazed at what they saw.

Conner's first request was to see the conference center. We have never seen the inside since it was completed, and he was amazed. We were ten minutes too late for the last tour of the evening, maybe next time. We headed to the tabernacle next, and it was all set up for the Christmas session on Sunday. We sat there for a long time and then when we told Conner it was time to move on he said." Well, we have to wait for them to sing." Poor thing thought the choir was going to come out and sing.

We took them over through the lights, and it was freezing cold, but somehow the atmosphere seems to distract you. We caught this picture of Conner and Taylor in front of the temple. Taylor asked me if that was the castle I got married in. I told her yes, and she said one day she would get married in that castle too. Innocent and sweet are the little ones.

I have more photos of our trip and will post them as soon as I retrieve them all. We had a good trip all in all. Cousins played, adults laughed, and families gathered. Christmas.